New ideas for TSA bumper stickers

I was just sent these TSA bumper sticker prototypes by a friend in the industry. We're serious about security, but it's good to have a loud laugh. So, as you pack your bags, hop on planes, check your 3-1-1 and prepare to stuff yourself with turkey, I hope you enjoy this masterful work and enjoy some LOLing. Sadly, we don't know who to credit for this humor, but whoever you are: Thank you!

TSA bumper sticker slogan suggestions