Thieves are like babies: They just can't resist bright, shiny objects

File this week's Friday Funny under stupid criminals and their equally absent-minded victims.


Last month in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., soon-to-be stupid criminal Igor Ramos was going through the security line at the airport. He didn't set off any alarms, no problems. As Ramos is collecting his laptop, he notices a pretty shiny object in the next grey bin...and it was a freaking ROLEX!


Of course, I wouldn't be writing this if the guy exercised any degree of self-control. So, Ramos swipes the watch, places it quickly in his laptop bag and heads off to his New York-bound flight -- all in plain view of the multiple security cameras that everyone not born yesterday knows are all over the airport. Watch him pull it off here.


Ramos must've thought he was home free. He made it onto the Jan. 18 flight and was gone without a trace. He didn't know that just about every newscast from Florida, to New York, to London, had broadcast the footage. After an investigation, he was arrested a month later actually wearing the $6,500 women's watch (well, it sure looked good and shiny!).   


Kudos to the crimestopper tips and the investigators who tracked down Gloria de Regalado's expensive watch...but surely a scratch to the head goes to de Regalado herself. It's just hard for me to fathom how you could leave something like a $6,500 watch behind at a security checkpoint. Personally, I'm checking my pockets like 30 times to make sure I still have my phone and sunglasses as I'm leaving the area...I guess OCD will protect my valuables.


But it reminds me of a classic quote by tough guy R. Lee Ermey in his quintessential role, as Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket. And while the message is depressing, drill sargeants have this funny way of summing things up pretty well: "Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that don't you?...If it wasn't for d***heads like you, there wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would there?"


For more Friday fun, here's a link to "6 Terrifying User Agreements You've Probably Accepted" from one of my favorite humor sites,

Enjoy the weekend!