"Unless you can pick the lock."
"Now where is that secret nuclear facility again?"
"Don't alienate me and make me call security."
"Put it in the cold case files."
"My aim is true."
"Warning, anti-climbing gate sign now painted with anti-climbing paint."
Sting & The Police: Providing the primary theme song for all surveillance monitoring staff
"Protected by Vigilante Security Monitoring Inc."
"Politely decline requests for access when robbers, rapists and drug addicts seek access to the premises."
"Is today shoplifting day, or is it just a 30% off sale?"
"Because I said so, that's why."
Scouring the interwebs, our team of hacks found these signs that are sure to convey the message that crime just isn't welcome here