It didn't take long for the lightning bolts to come down from NBA world headquarters Saturday. Immediate indefinite suspensions for the Indiana Pacers' Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson and Jermaine O'Neal. A similar penalty, also of indefinite length, for the Detroit Pistons' Ben Wallace.
Commissioner David Stern called the incident at Friday's Pacers-Pistons game "shocking, repulsive and inexcusable -- a humiliation for everyone associated with the NBA."
Stern seemingly -- and with justifiable reason -- included himself, because there is plenty of blame to go around.
No need to rehash the whole episode. It's already been replayed on TV more times than the Ruby-Oswald shooting.
Nine people at The Palace of Auburn Hills were injured. Two were taken to the hospital. Artest, Jackson and O'Neal went waybeyond the boundaries, both the striped ones and the rational ones. Arena security appeared to be both slow to react and overmatched. And when the police with real badges finally arrived, they looked like Barney Fifes.
In his statement Saturday, Stern said the league was still investigating and reviewing its security policies, "so that fans can continue to attend our games unthreatened by events such as the ones that occurred last night."
Good luck with that. What's Stern going to do -- double the number of security guards? Ban beer sales?
Neither, let me suggest, would be a bad idea. Been to an NBA game lately? In a lot of league arenas, it's become a full sensory experience. An assault upon the eyeballs and eardrums, with a little basketball mixed in.
My memory is still jolted by something Mavericks coach Don Nelson said last spring when asked about the growing plague of flaming player intros, screaming PA announcers and nonstop high-decibel nonsense. Nellie, who hs been around the NBA for 42 seasons as a player, coach or general manager, confessed that he approved of it.
"Our game just isn't entertaining enough by itself," Nelson said.
What an alarming admission.
But if a wise old-timer such as Nellie can be persuaded to feel that way, we can only imagine what the NBA marketing hucksters think.
At American Airlines Center, there are microphones on the rims. You can see the Mavericks Dancers' underwear. Th courtside seats are so close to the sideline that the uniformed waiters sometimes have to walk in-bounds to deliver beer.
The Mavericks' team bench? It's like trying to Find Waldo. They are wedged in, practically shoulder-to-shoulder with the high-rolling customers.
The marketing philosophy, one assumes, is designed to bring the fans as close as physically possible to the action.
At American Airlines Center, where the customers tend to behave, so far no problems.
But, as we saw Friday night in Michigan -- horrors -- the full, 3-D NBA experience can get out of hand.
The fan who threw the blue cup at Artest might well have ignited the resulting free-for-all. Yet, no professional athlete, no matter how provoked, should climb into the stands.
The athlete is a paid performer -- and paid well. And for that, he should be required to act with decorum and restraint, no matter what a boorish customer yells or throws. It is arena security's job to deal with the misbehavin fan, not the player's.
Artest should bear the primary blame, therefore, for Friday's incident escalating from a chippy players' push-fest into an all-out, fist-swinging brawl. Considering that Latrell Sprewell was once handed a 68-game suspension for choking his coach, Artest needs to be given an equally heavy-handed reminder. Jackson and O'Neal also deserve long and harsh penalties.
The Pistons, likewise, should be fined extensively for the Palace's utter mishandling of security. There were children still in the arena, and the Pistons are fortunate that no one was gravely hurt.
I'm not keen on government intruding into sports, but it's time for someone to draw a definite line. How's about putting some federal teeth into a law that keeps the spectators -- and their drink cups, popcorn, batteries, et al. -- from entering the bench area or field of play?
Stern, meanwhile, needs to recognize that he has created a problem. A party that on Friday night got out of hand -- nd could again. A party with booze. Loud music. And with too many bodies -- and potential hot heads -- squeezed too close to the action.
Inexcusable, Stern called Friday's riot. The first step toward preventing another one should be his.