The first time I had to present awards on stage at ISC West, I wrote out every single word I planned to say, brought the full script to the podium, and gripped the sides of that podium so hard my knuckles went white.

To quote Gloria Gaynor: I was petrified.

It was terrible for me and for everyone in that room. I squirm just thinking about it.

Not long after, a wise person sat me down and said something that changed everything for me: “Nobody watching you wants you to be perfect,” he said. “In fact, they want you to stumble. They want you to look silly. It makes you human. It makes everything engaging. They are sitting there waiting for you to look like a person.”

It was some of the best advice I ever got. Forget about the old adage to imagine your audience in their underwear…just walk out there knowing you will make mistakes, because that is all part of your brand anyway.

That conversation was the beginning of whatever personal brand I have managed to build over 25 years in this industry. And whether you are a consultant trying to break in, a mid-level executive looking to raise your profile within your own integration company, or a journalist just starting out, the path is simpler than you think:

1. Get over your fear.

There is research suggesting that some people would choose death over public speaking. I believe it. The fear of getting in front of a camera, stepping onto a stage, or posting your true opinion on LinkedIn is the single biggest obstacle between you and the personal brand you are trying to build. Everything else on my list requires handling this one first. The good news: once you accept that nobody is waiting for you to be perfect and that they are waiting for you to be real, the rest gets a lot easier.

2. Make it personal.

You do not have to be a “writer” to build a great brand. What you need are life experiences, real observations, and the willingness to be human and relatable on the page or on the screen. My very best columns are the ones about my kids, my parents, or what happened to me while standing in line at Chipotle. The worst ones are the ones where I am promoting a program or a product. Here is the irony: promotions do not make personal brands, but personal brands – once established – can deliver decent promotions.

We live in a world where AI is churning out copy for people who have given up on connecting with their own humanity. Your actual life is your competitive advantage.

3. Become a sponge.

I have never installed a security camera professionally in my life, and I’ve never run a security business. Well, full disclosure, I did set up a camera to watch my front door, and I did install my dad's video doorbell, which also happened to become a nice column. You do not have to be the expert in your space to be an influencer in it. What you have to be is relentlessly curious. Talk to people. Ask questions that might seem stupid. Approach someone who feels unapproachable. Shoot your shot. The pursuit of knowledge is everything, and scrolling LinkedIn does not count. Real knowledge comes from real conversations.

4. Show up in person, repeatedly, and with your whole self.

Early in my career, I had young kids and a wife who was a full-time teacher. My goal was to avoid travel at all costs. I volunteered for nothing. I put up roadblocks whenever my name came up for secondary conferences and events. I told myself it was about family priorities (it was), but it also cost me years of relationship-building I can never get back.

My personal brand started taking off when two things happened: I conquered my fear (see number one), and my kids got old enough that I became secure enough in my home life to actually want to travel. To want to be at every event I could get to.

Relationships are everything in business and in journalism. You cannot build them with a keyboard. You build them by showing up – to the conferences, to the dinners, to the after-parties, to as much as you can.

5. Have a point of view.

Once you become a sponge and build relationships with people who know more than you do, it is time to create a way of seeing the industry that is distinctly yours. Here’s a fact that will make your average journalism professor cringe: People with followers aren’t neutral. People follow you because you see things in a certain (very human) way, and that way resonates with them.

Figure out what your lens is. Don’t worry, it will continually develop as you follow this path. But it is important to own it, consistently, across LinkedIn posts, speeches…even in conversation. That’s how you transform “presence” into “personal brand.”

It has been 25 years, and I am still working on all five of these. Some days are better than others, but if you take nothing else away from this column, take that advice I got long ago: Stop trying to be perfect, and start just being a person. Your audience will do the rest.